These past 2 years have been absolute ***.My first boyfriend broke up with my about 2 years ago and I haven't had a guy like me since. I don't get a long with my parents for personal reasons. I've been sicker these 2 years than ever before with vertigo, Bell's Palsy, and pneumonia. The one year anniversary of my best friend's death is coming up on Monday. And I'm so alone all the time. I have no friends. I'm homeschooled and I'm literally ALONE almost all day everyday. I've been trying so hard and I pray and I pray to God but he just won't help me. Last night I came to the conclusion that yes, God is real, but he just doesn't have time for me. He never gives me what I ask for.An I'm not asking for like "oh god. Please give me a car and an iPad and tons of clothes" I ask him for friends and happiness. I ask him to comfort me and let me know I'm loved… But you know… God can't lie… So I guess no one really does love me. I guess what my question is… Is how do I cope? Last night I cut myself. I found a razor blade, sharpened of, sterilized it and cut my thigh.It wasn't very sharp so it didn't cut deep. I don't think it'll even leave scars… But like. I called on of my best friends and told him and he got mad at me… And I didn't want that. I wanted him to care. I want to tell my parents but I know they'll just get mad too. And don't say "oh they won't be mad" because y'all don't know my parents… I just want to be loved.
>>> I cut myself for the first time last night. (I'm 15)?