I'm very blessed to be with someone who is very good to me. We love each other very much and are very comfortable with each other. I don't know if this is normal but my boyfriend likes to DO things - he likes to be physical/intimate, he likes to be with other people, going out to dinner, watching a movie, etc… I love it as well but mentally, I don't feel fulfilled… I need the mental aspect of the relationship for me to be emotionally balanced.It doesn't have to be perfect but I do like having our meaningful conversations; not just small talk here and there. We're very compatible to begin with - we grew up similarly, have the same core values, and it's a nice balance where we can disagree and have our opinions but we still have our mutual respect and understanding. We also communicate very well… I just don't know if this is a normal "men are from mars, women are from venus" thing - where guys like to just DO things (and not talk) and women like to talk (and not just do).
I don't expect to be talking to oprah all the time and I know we're both tired but I don't feel fulfilled mentally.It's like almost having an orgasm but you never do… it's frustrating. Of course, I can still tell him and he gets it but he won't "get it"… and I have. I'm finally being more open and vulnerable in this relationship (which is something we struggled with in the beginning because I'm so used to being the tough, lone ranger who handled things on her own) and now that I'm opening up, he's getting comfortable.It's nice that he's getting comfortable but… *sigh*. I mean, he's good with conversations here and there but he just can't give me his full attention sometimes. I don't expect his attention 24-7 at all nor do I expect romance all the time but I'm looking for quality not quantity. I don't have to see him everyday but if I have a good convo with him on the phone, I'm happy. Instead it's the other way around - he'll want to see me everyday but he'll be on his ipad and I'll do my thing reading something but I feel like I'm wasting time; I could be doing something else, like run errands. How do I tell him this? "Oh honey, I'm not happy right now. You're not giving me what I need. I love you but you're too comfortable, it's like you waste my time sometimes, you bore the hell out of me, and it's like you don't want to talk to me anymore bc you'd rather be doing things. You seemed much more attentive in the beginning." That's another thing - I was always the tough chick who was always "too independent"; I solved everything on my own and he would try to get me into that "relationship" mentality - now that I'm opening up and the walls are coming down (and I'm becoming a bit more vulnerable), he's getting more comfortable. When he gets too comfortable, it gets me insecure because it was different than how it was in the beginning. I know he loves me, he's not going anywhere and neither am I but this sucks right now…
Added (1). Excuse me but I'm not asking someone to entertain me. I have things to do, I have my own life but if someone is being too comfortable, why am I here?
>>> How to tell him I'm not happy with how things are now?