Hi my name is Paul I love this guy we had a fight and I lost him ever time I been trying to get back with him but its been failing it been over three years seine the last day I have hugged him he was a nice guy and I'm at a point where I want to kill me self now as when I was with him I tried saying to him what I felt and I left it to late I was never in love before and I could not get it out and I did not felt that when I tried telling him I was in love with him and as I never felt love and when I had the flight with him that when I I know what was love felling one day like when I was with him I went fishing with him I was only 15 or so not sure i was in the boat and he asked what I want to tell him I never could of told him and I told him to not worry I felt happy when I was with him but when it was time to go home I was in the car and my sister drove me home I got upset and I did not know I cried and when I got home I went to my bed and just cried no one cared and now I know why I cried why was it when I'm at school no one talk about this felling I don't know what it is their should of told me then I could of asked him out me and him was gay and we kissed way before this but we never went out but ye this is just a bit now I want to recover my friend ship his 2nd dad die yesterday I think not sure i got told I think he would be asking my sister to go and all of us but me i would not go as he will be their but if I can some how get back with him I want to know If I go what should I try like try been at the back near the door and when he talks just walk away and and turn away and go out side and make sure he sees it and I just make sure I go out side and sit on a sit so I can talk and try telling how sorry I'm for his lost and then try talking to him about getting back like go out or I come over for tea and *** I'm not sure what to do
Sorry for this talk and spelling I'm on an iPad
Any way I hope I can get back with him I miss the hell out of him :(
>>> Love, killing me self and more?