Thursday, March 6, 2014

Does this seem normal? - 1

Hi, I am new here, and am looking for some sort of advice. I have PTSD and have a trait of Dissociation (when things get stressful I go numb or black out) Recently though the dissociation hasn't been there, which amazes me with all the stress going on right now.

My problem is I am worried about my husband, he seem very confused and angry. His mind changes a lot and he can't make a decision.

Story: We haven't touched the Ipad in 3 months, but I charged it yesterday to use the story reader to read the baby a story while I finish my homework. I honestly am not sure how this happened, but his text messages from his iphone popped up on the screen of the ipad. Most of the messages is stay that he wants out of the marriage, his confused, he staying for our daughter and that I am forcing him to stay. He also said I forced him into marriage.

Now, granted, if it was a female I would think he is trying to get laid, but this was to one of his good guy friends. (my husband cheated in the past most recent time was in January) I told him Sunday night that if he wanted to leave that I couldn't stop him, so I have no idea how I am forcing him to stay.

We have issue since December, and he did get every secretive. Freaking out when I would pick up his phone to bring it to him, being distant, testy. Like I couldn't say anything to him without him getting upset. He also hates when I ask questions. I realize that do to the cheating I am more, on guard, then I should be but sometimes things don't seem to add up.

Well, last night when I told him I saw what he was saying and decided that if he wants to move into the barracks that he should. He claimed that I was forcing his decision, that he doesn't no what he wants. (my husband gives me whiplash sometimes because how he changes his mind so much) He said he was confused and that he needed time to think. I said that's fine, so I assumed (I know I shouldn't have) that one of us should stay somewhere else. He said he didn't want to go to the barracks because he doesn't want the unit involved. I told him our daughter and I can stay with one of my friends, and he declined. So i said I would sleep in the other room to give him space. He got upset and wanted me in our room.

What I find weird is, I never lost my temper I was calm. (I think I started with withdraw emotionally but I wasn't completely numb just calm) So I laid down. And he held on to me.

Granted, I know it shows like my husband lying and playing a game but he said something that strikes me as odd. He said "My head keeps screaming that I can't even here my own whispers" According to him, this has been going on since December (when I noticed changes) But swore it's because of how I don't trust him.

He always has had sense of time, more times then I can count he said "we just paid this bill yesterday" when it's been a month. Like time jumps for him.

Clear up until last night, I thought it was me that was mental ill. But I think something might be wrong with him… HELP

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