Have I made the right choice?!

I am a lesbian and was happily loved up with my girlfriend for 3 years. We never argued, we did everything together and was always there for each other to support and grow as a couple. It was heaven.

After a lovely long weekend off together, I get the iPad out of the draw (joint iPad) and up pops a message from her ex boyfriend, whom she has not had contact with, seen or anything like that for 4 1/2 years. The message reads, you have to do what is right for you, not for me, not for her, but for you. I was speechless. I didn t know what to say or feel. So when she came back in the room, I confronted her about it.

Her response being that they had seen each other on a night out and had reconciled as they had shared friends. I felt awful and got upset as I thought I d just accused her of cheating. Next minute she tells me something did happen, they slept together. I felt broke. Then I asked if it was just a one time thing and she proceeded to tell me she had slept with another guy (also a friend) whilst I was working a night shift. I felt utterly devastated. Both times unprotected also.

But now, whether because it s near Christmas or not, I m finding myself missing her a great deal and I can t help but wonder if I made the right decision to walk away. It still tears me up 6 months on. I don t know fully if I m dealing with it the right way or if I have done right. I miss her. I hate her and yet I love her.

Any advice would be much appreciated! Thank you x

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