I don't understand my feelings. Hate?

Idk what's wrong with me.

Well. My brother is 36
My sister is 27
And I'm 16 (girl)

I just feel, that my mom feels like she's done with raising kids, because she already has 2 grown adults.

And the fact that my brother and sister are fully related and I'm their half sister doesn't really help either.

Even though my mom says that they apparently "treat me all the same" I don't really buy it, they have to love each other more anyway.

I feel like there's always gonna be a gap. A joke that they're all in on, excluding me.

And when I do something stupid (like forget the password to my iPad and disable it) they all yell at me and shake their heads.

I'm a nuisance.

They already have their lives, I'm not even close to their age. They've already been through what I'm going through, lived through what I have yet to live through.

If i died, I think they'd grieve me.

Probably.

I just, I don't even know what I'm feeling.

I want to go to a college 2,000 miles away. Because maybe it'll get better. If I leave them alone?

Either that, or…

I couldn't be able to talk to them about it. I'm not that close to them. We don't have serious "talks" I don't want to start now.

They're usually arguments, between me and my mom.

She says I'm worthless, useless, a whore (when I wear sweatshirts and jeans but no jacket) there's so many names.

I feel empty most of the time. Especially when I see my best friend with her awesome family.

What's my problem? /:

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