I need help with my girlfriend, we have been together for almost 4 years, i love her so much and she means everything to me. She is my best friend and we have been through some rough times with illness and stuff but we stayed strong. I moved away to university last September. At first it was fine, i would travel down to see her every second weekend. But it got really tough a few months in and we were so close to splitting up, i mean extremely close.
anyway during this point in time i felt loneliness that i have never felt before. I felt my guts curdling every time i thought about her. And to deal with the pain i created a fake online hookup profile, fake picture details, everything fake. I felt the need for human contact so much that i just done it, i didn't have any friends up at university that i could talk to or go out drinking with to help me.
I have no idea why i created it, it seemed like the only way to cope at the time, all i was thinking was I'm alone, I'm alone I'm alone, i was blinded by loneliness.
nothing ever happened, i never met with any women, i never sent any pictures of myself or anything like that, i did however get into a few conversations, some sexual, but as i say nothing ever happened.
anyway in the end we managed to sort it out, i was going to move to the university that was closer to her so i could move in with her and start a life, i was so happy and things were better than ever. During this time i never touched my profile, I had completely forgot about it i was just so happy everything was back to normal.
but last night she found my ipad, which i haven't used since i created the profile, she saw all the messages and everything.
when she confronted me i told her the whole truth, i didn't say someone else made it or that it was a joke, i told her the truth. I said that its was during that dark time in our relationship and that i was truly sorry. I offered lie detector test to prove that i never met any of tremor sent any images of myself, but she didn't want it,
we spoke and discussed things and i spent the weekend at her house, she was crying and i was crying but we were still getting along, sometimes we even acted like it didn't even happen. She kept saying that she loves me and hugging me we even had sex at the end of each night.
I left for university this morning and received a txt about 6pm saying that she wants to break up with me, she said that she cant get over what i have done, she says she wants a clean break up and that i have not to try and change her mind because it wont work.
I'm so heart broken and don't know what to do, she said she wants space so i'm going to give it to her. I want her back so much. I know what i did was wrong and i'm not making any excuses.
should i let her go? What should i do? I don't want to force anything to happen. I have so much respect and love for her that if she does end up not wanting to see me then i will honor her request.
is my mistake forgivable? She has had bad luck with guys in the past and i don't want her to think that we are all the same.
please try and help me out, im pretty lonely and depressed atm so if you think im a prick say it nicely.
i have not touched any website ever since the dark time in our relationships, even if this does end up in tears there is no way i will ever be touching a site like this again,
also i don't know if it is worth mentioning that about 6 months into our relationship i found her tablet with messages from a guy she once dated saying things like it would be fun to go out again and things like that.
we had a talk and i forgave her and we forgot about the whole thing.
i know its not the same but i gave her a chance back then, do i not deserve a small chance?
thank you for your time guys
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