So in school were relearning about eating disorders and body image disorders.
I'm a fourteen year old female and i think I have one. I am 4ft 10in and 110lbs and every time i look in the mirror i see this fat *** blob. I use to be 118 and the doctor told me it was perfectly fine because i look in great shape and it really doesn't matter what the number on the scale is and that my weight was most likely going to my breast and hips, but I still felt fat.So is stopped eating chips and sweets and soda and started exercising for thirty minutes Monday thru Friday. I lost 8lbs. But I still feel like a fat ***. And I know its not just a normal teen girl thing. I constantly look in the mirror. I constantly stare at my reflection on windows, mirrors, any reflective object. I hate my hair. I hate my stomach, I hate my legs and figure I'm not anorexic or bulimic, but I will admit last year i tried starving for a few days, but I stopped after like four days because i knew it was wrong and i have seen what it does, my friend IS anorexic.My sister WAS bulimic.My aunt IS bulimic. I asked my mom if she ever starved or purged as a kid and she said she didn't want to talk about it, so I am assuming she did. I have a feeling its a genetic thing. Plus my insecurity. And I heard if your sexually assaulted when you were young you could get an eating disorder. I'm not sure if this counts as sexually assaulted but when I was like 5 a boy a grade ahead of me, i use to goto his house because my bro use to be friends with him, well the boy would put his hand down my pants opand touch privates(he would tell my bro to get something and then he would be all creepy) I really didnt understand what was happening, so I didnt no exactly what to do, but one day i ran away from the boy and hid in the bathroom because i realized what was happening was very wrong.So I think I told my mom so we stopped going to the kids house and my bro and him aren't friends anymore. When I think about what happened, it doesn't really affect me, I hate him, but he was really little like 6 or 7 at the time when he did those things so maybe he didnt understand any better.My bro says the kids dad was perverted so maybe that's where he learned it from. But I really don't think about it.
I don't really no what to do, do i need a counsler? I have a low self esteem and body image problem and i have no one to talk to bout my problems.My friends don't no about my problem because i don't let them no, they wouldn't understand, and I don't want to come off as annoying or something. I try to talk to my mom about my body image problem but she doesn't want to here it, it makes her sad. And when I told her about the body image problem she asked did i really believe I had one and I said yes. And she just sort of changed the subject. I love her, and I know it must be hard for her to hear because she had to deal with my sister who WAS bulimic, but shes better now thankfully. And my moms sister who shes close is bulimic so i think its really hard for her to handle. And whenever my mom tells me I'm beautiful, I cry and get emotional because i just can't see it. I hate every pic of me. I hate my body. I keep so much of these negative feelings inside, my friends and family think I'm this cheerful fun loving charming girl who is always smiling and laughing-so they say- but deep inside I'm broken, stress, and have no one to talk too. I'm at lost. Idk what to do.
Ps if i used bad grammar or misspelling i am typing fast on an ipad, so sorry.
>>> Body image problem? No one to talk too.?