Life is just boring and sad for me these past few years. I remember I used to be excited for Christmas and birthdays, but now i don't even care. I used to love to read, I'd read really long books for like 6 hours a day, but now I don't find anything interesting to read anymore. There's this guy I've been isorta seeing long distance since my preteens (I'll be 19 this month) but I'm too young and poor to go anywhere myself. I used to feel butterflies and I'd get this certain euphoric feeling when I talked to him but it's gone now because I've lost hope, though I'm still trying. Nowadays, I just wake up workout to get back in shape then go to college everyday. And I have some pretty crappy professors who just don't seem human and my grades don't reflect the kind of student I used to be. I get scared when I go to class now because I feel like I'm incapable of learning basic things and have no one to help me. My relationship with my parents have fallen apart and I just get yelled at for things that happened ages ago, so I basically camp out in my room all day and walk around like a zombie and just think. I also hate how I look, my ipad is filled with pictures of beautiful girls that I'm so envious of and it makes me feel crappy when I get back to the mirror cause Id look like a third grader. I remember I also used to be funny and witty you'd swear I was a comedian but now I can't even pronounce words and speak properly because I'm always nervous. I don't know what to do with myself anymore, I don't feel like me. I wish I could have my old life back. What do I do?
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